Valentine's Day is coming up! Which means I'll be spending the next few weeks absorbing advertisements that imply my husband doesn't love me if I'm not surprised with over the top flowers, diamonds or a shiny new Lexus.
All us girls know how fun that is!
Of course this also has my husband as nervous as a schizophrenic parakeet on the fourth of July.
He can't win and he knows it.
It's really okay though, since I tend to be unfazed by those traditional displays of affection. I like quirky, I like different... I like bitter conversation heart cookies.
Nothing speaks to my sick sense of humor like a Valentine's day cookie that says "Die in a fire"
Am I weird?
Maybe...
Of course, if I got a box of bitter conversation heart cookies in a new Lexus, well that would be even better.
So, to make these bitter sweets, I took my usual sugar cookie recipe and decorated them with royal icing sayings like: Pre-nup, Daddy issues, Angst, You're No Edward, Don't Call, Table 4 One, Die in a fire, Wanker, Bite Me, Move On and so on...
Good luck keeping your hands steady while laughing.
Disclaimer: Ms. Humble is not responsible for any time spent sleeping on the couch due to poor reaction to Bitter Sweet cookies from your significant other.
My wife totally wants a 'You're no Edward' cookie
ReplyDeleteOh! Very clever :) I'd love to celebrate with your bitter conversation hearts instead of "Single Awareness Day" LOL
ReplyDeleteLOL that is hilarious! I'm totally using this idea for our Valentine's bake sale!
ReplyDeleteThat is so cute, it is midnight in Georgia and I had to call my best friend and read her your cookies. The fact that she has to be at work at 8AM did not bother me a bit!
ReplyDelete**LOL** These are histerical!! :)
ReplyDeleteyou are so clever! This is too funny. I showed all your genius cookie creations to one of my friends and she said "does she sell these? She needs to!"
ReplyDeleteI really think you should. Anyway My boyfriend and I have very similar senses of humor to these kind of cookies and I may just make these cookies with the words & phrases we "shit talk" to each other. great idea much more my style.
I still better get some flowers sent to my office though ;)
hahah last year i did STI related ones...
ReplyDeleteHa! I love these! Do the cookies taste bitter too?
ReplyDeleteVery fun. I did some like this a couple years ago. I believe one of them said "Eat my shorts".
ReplyDeleteAnd we have a standing agreement in our house that if my husband ever spent money on diamonds for me, I'd be pissed.
I have to make these for the guys at work!
ReplyDeleteGiven the current climate I'm tempted to daub them with 'Voluntary Redundancy', 'Early Retirement' and 'Golden Handshake'......I'd have to keep them well away from prying management eyes!
Hee hee :D
Years ago I took a damp paper towel and rubbed the words off of the tiny conversation hearts, then wrote my own bitter messages on them with a red sharpie. It works really well, and is very amusing. The cookies are an excellent idea, I'm planning out my phrases now...
ReplyDeleteThose are hilarious! I hope my boyfriend doesn't stumble on this page though ;) !
ReplyDeletehahaha i literally laughed out loud... :)
ReplyDeleteHA HA HA LOL! I love the "You're No Edward" cookie, that is priceless! You know girls will be making these cookie like crazy...
ReplyDeleteAnd maybe I will too. Twilight-themed bitter sweets. :)
Hahaha, those are funny, but my favorite is still "Bite Me", but not because I'm into vampires and New Moon though lol
ReplyDeleteI happened upon your blog earlier this week and adore it. Love these cookies!
ReplyDeleteOk, I have to 'fess ignorance: who is this Edward to whom prospective love partners are supposed to aspire? I'm assuming it's not Prince Edward...oh, wait.
ReplyDeleteUm, if it has something to do with that vampire serial and Robert Pattinson movie, never mind; I'd rather remain igorant.
Love the cookies! Which red food coloring do you use? I have wilton's "no-taste red" and it is worthless. I end up with pepto-bismol frosting.
ReplyDeleteYea Twilight... I know, I know.
ReplyDeleteI just couldn't resist the pop culture reference, it was too funny.
Pyrogirl,
I used Super Red to color these cookies from Americolor.
I love the "I hate you" cookies. I wouldn't be mad at all if you sent some of those my way!! yum.
ReplyDeleteHahaha!! OH.... These are GREAT!!! Love em'!
ReplyDeleteThis is hysterical. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI am not a bitter person. But I love the 'Pre-Nup' and 'Bite Me' ones.
ReplyDeleteI am really tempted to follow suit, except I think it may send the wrong message to Him Indoors. :)
Lmao! Awesome.
ReplyDeleteWeird, just earlier today I was thinking about something so similar to this, it's scary. It's very surreal to see it materialize. Weird and completely awesome.
ReplyDeletehilarious and a great idea for those of us not too much into hearts and flowers.
ReplyDeletevery nice !
ReplyDeleteAHHH! I love these. Oh man I'm not sure if its a good thing that the idea of giving somebody a cookie that says "die in a fire" made me excited. Or "I hate you." You are a genius my friend. You have truly perfected the art of the vengeance cookie.
ReplyDeletei am super excited for this valentine's...i was looking around for some baking tips as im going to prepare a basket of baked goodies :)
ReplyDeleteI love these so much it hurts!!! :)
ReplyDelete'You're no Edward'. As in Lewis? I LOVE that.
ReplyDelete